Apology for the Future
I just want to say I’m sorry
in advance
for everything I’ll someday
do and say
wrong.
I already regret the gaffes to be:
jokes gone sideways
confessions gone too far,
untimely farts, and bad stories
repeated
at length,
to people who’ve already heard them,
playful looks misunderstood,
and every ego-filled utterance
that will force itself from my
too slowly closing lips.
It’s true I’ll sometimes forget
and scratch myself in private
places in public spaces,
or pick my nose in the car
at the stoplight
as if the windows were opaque.
I won’t be able to help glancing
at beautiful women,
or ever stop staring
too long
at you,
as hard as I try, whenever
you’re in the room.
I’m already sorry for all of it,
sorry I can never be as good
a man as you deserve.
I want to apologize
for the future.
Forgive me
for as long as you can.
and please remember then
what I’m telling you now—
I’m sorry
and still trying.
(KZ 2016)
Oh, this is so sweet. It’s probably not the headspace you were in when you wrote this, but I soooo often I want to pre-apologize for all the stupid shit I will say and do, stupid assumptions, presumptions, on and on, all of it. And then apologize all over again after the fact or action! I’ve been told way too often to stop saying”I’m sorry”….
Great poem for maybe a universal feeling (except for our president?)
I’m glad you connect with this one, Anni. It’s whimsical, but a real feeling. I know I’ll screw up in the future, Might as well get the apologies out of the way!
This inspires me to write an apology to future generations.
That’s great, Suzan. I’d love to see it. I actually started a poem called “Apology TO the Future” a couple days ago, which got me thinking about this older one, which is why I threw this one up on the site. I don’t know where the new one will go but the rough draft in my journal starts:
Apology to the Future
I know you’re mad
and I don’t blame you.
I’d like to say we didn’t
know what we were doing,
but we did….