Z-anon-sensei Speaks #76

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“It’s all on the Q.T., but everybody who matters is with us all the way down the line.” Hunter S. Thompson

Blake Steele woke up to bad news. A lot of it! His ^darkpad was quietly screaming at him with notifications as he sat beside his still-sleeping wife (Darlin Gyrl Steele) and skimmed through his feed. Oh, my. Steve a’Banndon-Allhope was actually arrested this morning, by USPS agents no less! And Pretendident Thump had gone off on an unsupervised Tweet-rage, got his all caps key stuck on. Oh, the repetitive question marks and exclamation points!!! My god. Steele glanced quickly around the bedroom, checking to see if he had offended anyone. Thump had forgotten every single thing Steele had talked to him about. He didn’t even give Steele a chance to look for typos or add in the proper ^hexwords. Oh, my oh, my oh. What a mess. Why, oh, why, oh? Steele sure had a lot workings to do this morning, trying to pick up some pieces out of all this broken PR. He’d better start with some strong black coffee, and an even stronger, blacker spell. It was 6am and he had an hour before the kids were up. Time to rise and shine.

He scanned the D-pad some more, sitting at the kitchen counter while the coffeemaker hummed and dripped like a water-torture device in the background. The information feed on his D-pad is managed by an AI he bought from an old college buddy out in SF. The AI, however, is held as slaveware to another layer of code called ^Overseer, provided to Steele by ^darkpower agents within NSS. This software contains a sub-routine– SpelChek(tm) — which is a sort of spiritual virus protection, in case any downloaded text, image, or code contains a magickal spell that might endanger the user or spread itself on to other users and their systems.

Steele poured a cup of dark liquid into a Snoopy-themed coffee mug his kids had given him. Went back to the news. The arrest of a’Banndon-Allhope shook him deeply. Well, dang, that hit close to home. Not that he knew a’Banndon personally, only by reputation. a’Banndon was one of the most powerful ^poetwizards in all of ^darkpower. He was a real PR legend for the way he and the ^Darkbart news service he created had taken over such widespread radio voices as Rash Limberger and Lex Jeans of InfoLiars fame, and through whose freakishly popular shows a’Banndon pulled and twisted the thought-strings of millions upon millions of people, spreading potent ^mythmemes across the country and the world, all without being very well known himself. Staying unknown was the greatest trick of all, but a’Banndon had lost a lot of his anonymity since teaming up with Thump, and Steele guessed a lot more people were going to hear about him, now that he’d been arrested. a’Banndon’s influence and hexes had pushed Thump into power and continued to drive nationalist and neo-fascist movements worldwide. The take-down of such a potent ^poetwizard could only be an all-in ^risingtide op via their agents embedded in the NY attorney’s office and the USPSIS. Steele wondered what that might mean.

And then there was this! This was really bad news. Big trouble, right here, with a capital T. So it’s true, Thump can’t hold his tongue. Burr had warned Steele that Thump took a lot of dope and tended to get loose about things. But this! This crossed the boundary of the circle. Thump had actually mentioned the magical authorities he’s forbidden on penalty of to ever mention. Would action be taken? This could all go very bad, very quickly, and now Steele was riding with Thump’s team. Steele was beginning to wonder what Ary had gotten him in for. He folded down the cover of his D-pad, and carried his black coffee— already growing cold and bitter— with him to the basement. He was going to need full-on protection for awhile. Whatever it cost him.

Nuff said.


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